Jake Hammerfield knows no bounds

I have no beginning, I am Jake Hammerfield. Was I born? Not in the way you might think. Was Superman born? Was Spider-man born? Was Megatron born? NO! They came into existence. Will I die? Maybe.



A long time ago I was a boy, and as a boy I lived life to the fullest: Throwing rocks at passing women, teaching puppies how to read, and dropping change off of skyscrapers...followed by innocently helping the ambulence workers clean up the "accident."



I skipped adolesence and became a man at age 7, after my mother died from a severe lotion allergy. I don't know much about my father, but people tell me he has awesome hair...I try to live up to that every day.

Well, that about sums up my life until this point. Now you know me.